literally had 100 drinks last night.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
