I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
