we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
