My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
