wakey wakey hands off snakey
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
