I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
