I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
