why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
