Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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