You can't motorboat a personality
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
