he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
high people should be assigned attendants
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
