afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
