I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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