Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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