covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
