kristin has been a bad kristin
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
