i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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