No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
