Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
