you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
