Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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