She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
