I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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