just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
