I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
