Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
