I seem to have left my pride at pride
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
