He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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