My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
