i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
