It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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