I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
