Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
