Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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