She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
