It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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