You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
