You smell like a Billy Joel song
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
