Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
A+ Viking dick
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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