Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
