I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
