I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
