therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
