so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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