just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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