my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
