you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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