it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
