girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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