We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
